thankyou for this quest. i want to know where i am going, but if i know too soon i fear i will disappear. i want only for this body to know you, so please provide structure and integrity to this delicate balance of elements that houses my spirit.
please acquaint me with the sky, she stuns me with her grace. when my selfishness grows beyond me, teach me how to know the stars that live in her bosom and realise the extent of my ignorance, and teach me how to speak to the nomadic clouds that drift across her many faces when my friends have left my heart and when even the clouds are gone, teach me how to keep the company of the vast emptiness of the ocean face of the heavens, dear sky blue sky of shades and hues unending.
please help me know this breath that runs through my veins and speaks through my words. i feel it every moment, but i do not know from where it comes. i follow it at night, and i follow it in my sleep, but it leaves no traces in its wake. do you hide behind it?
tell me what words mean, i hear my friends saying them, and sometimes i do not understand, but i see the flames of love burning in their eyes. sometimes it is yellow, sometimes it is red, and sometimes it is black. but fire is fire, and its nature is one, and we will all come home to you when night falls over man. so tell me what these words mean, what is to be said, and when.
reveal to me the nature of this time: sometimes i get lost in it, and i lose all sense of dimension: the weaver of time, is it you? why is its path laden with feathers and thorns? why does it speak of a one-way street but manifest in endless forms? if you are the backbone of this infinite serpent, then does that mean you were never born? was i so too, if we are the same, you and I?
thankyou for my blood. i see it only when it leaves me, it is red like no other. my mother wears it too, under her skin, and it makes her shine from within. so do the trees. they make low skies when they grow, and my fevers flow when i watch them dance in the evening sun.
teach me not to worry, not to fear; because the day does not belong to me, neither does tomorrow, they are all transitions from the locker of eternity. teach me that all i have is now and the shape of it is filled with space dust formed by a compressed composition, layer by layer, over the ages, slowly revealing in moments, minutes, seconds, years: but it is not the time that matters, it is the density of it, and every moment holds every other in an indestructible balance, held fast by an indestructible force: you. so teach me not to worry, not to fear, that now is the only thing that belongs, and that it is right here:
and finally, i thankyou for this voice, because i know that it is all that there is, and without it, i would not speak to you. i would not write, i would not know, i would not feel anymore. but knowing that you are there is why i can, and why i will go on: your winds will take me there, and i know not where. but something tells me that i have been on a constant arrival and the only departure has been these thoughts, these doubts – is my destination here, where i have been from the start?